It's been a while. Not that I haven't had anything to write just no clear vision of how to say it.
Have you ever just out of the blue realized something about yourself that kind just takes you off guard? Well I haven't a lot but last week, Thursday I think, it happened. I was just talking away with �M� and I realized �I�m Boring� and not just regular boring. Absolutely snoozingly BORING. Not something real pleasant to think about yourself. How weird, something I�ve never realized before. I think I thought about it a little too much after that. I feel bad because I�m not sure our conversation was that great after, but not sure I was really only thinking about that. LOL Hey I�m still thinking about it, probably proves the point I have nothing else to do. HOW BORING. LOL oh well something else I can add to the list to work on. Damn that list is getting long. Screw it!!!
If that wasn�t enough Friday came home to a letter from a friend from AWC that kinda went off on me way back in July about the site and some things there. Really blindsided me and for things others were doing. But it seems it�s all my fault. I�ve been forwarding some nice emails to him about different things, friendship and life, you know the kind you send to your friends. He thought I was contradicting myself???? And kinda made the fact that we haven�t talked and he won�t go back into the room my fault too??? Go figure. Really hit me hard. I responded very heart felt because I do care about this guy. Originally went to AWC because of him. So I�ve known him for a while. We have some other ties too :-). But I just don�t know how to respond back. I�m not taking the blame for his decision. I still consider him a friend. Only reason I send him any email at all. Bothered me a lot this weekend. Brings back shit that happened in July.
Sorry I�m sitting here bitching about this kind of shit. Remember this is called �My so called life� LOL My life is so horrible NOT I have absolutely nothing to complain about compared to so many. OK OK OK I�m trying to be positive, it�s not working very well right now. Screw It!! LOL
Had a great conversation with kstyle last night. Talked about the big coming out thing. Yikes. LOL actually today is national coming out day. He reminded me of that. He is great to talk to. Very humorous a lot of fun. He has a real way of making people feel very comfortable. You can tell in his chat and his writing. He�s so excited right now about life. I�m crossing my fingers for him.
The new cute guy in the room called me Jolly last time I was in the room last week. Damn that pisses me off. He should have just said I was fat with a smile. PUNK!!! Put me back on my diet rather quickly though hmmmm should I say thanks???? Screw It!!! Not going to happen in this lifetime.
Have a big presentation at work tomorrow. The VP and several henchmen are here today and tomorrow. Took the corporate jet in. How intimidating. Oh well I�ll get through it. I have to go first of course YIPPEEEEEEE. I�m so honored. NOT LOL
�W� has termites�. Oh my �. Lot�s of damage, felt bad for him but he came back with something real positive like. �You only get in life what you can handle.� I was like �OK� hehehehe still a lot of damn money. Good to see him positive. I think he was trying to give me a lesson. LOL He�s very thoughtful.
Superman died last night. Keeter brought it up in the room last night. He is so funny and fun. Everyone was kind of shocked. It�s too bad he did a lot for back science and helped a lot of people. I always thought Christopher Reeves was really handsome and seemed like a really nice guy.
A year till my parents 50th anniversary. Oh my, how did they stay together so long. It�s pretty awesome. Me and my sisters are going to put so much a month into a kitty so we will have the money to throw them something nice and give them something cool maybe a trip or something. Hopefully saving monthly will help everyone. Their anniversary is this Friday. Very cool they are awesome parents. Got to take a short vacation with them both to the Wisconsin Dells last month. It was a lot of fun. They only wanted me to do what I wanted and be happy and I only wanted them too. LOL I guess the apple thing is right. LOL I love them so much.
WOW this turned out pretty long. I guess I had some buildup. LOL Oh well Screw it!!! :-)
