71 days since my last entry. That's just sad. Actually I kept meaning to get in but I just didn't. It's like a lot of thought scrambled in my head here the last several months. Had a friend this weekend bring up that I hadn't posted forever and asked me if I was out of that phase. LOL I talked to him on the phone tonight also.
I just said that I felt like I was just bitching all the time. That I've had this thing for three years and my life seems to cycle through the same ole' shit and I continue to bitch and complain about things and never seem to get off of my fat lazy ass to do anything about them. He told me that's what this thing is for. And I know it is. I thought about it since he pmed me and asked me if I was "out of that phase" LOL It is kinda handy to through some things out of your brain now and again. I miss reading other peoples. I don't get online as much as I used to but I do try to keep up with kstyles and whoever else posts which isn't many anymore.
Sitting here tonight a little sad and was thinking what the hell I'll type some stuff out of my brain. I do have a lot of things up there, some say it's a lot of air up there but, LOL I am a thinker a lot of the time. Sometimes I overthink things way too much.
I started playing World of Warcraft a few months back to kill some time at night. It's been really fun. I'm in a gay "Bear" guild on there so I chat a little we a few guys not many really. Hard to play and chat too.
I try to go into Anywebcam still but there never is hardly anyone there. Not much chatting going on at all. It's really kind of sad. I miss a lot of people from there. Met so many cool people from there. Some life changing friendships.
Not much going on here as of late. I'm really really sick of snow and winter. It's driving me crazy. I'm tired of the cold too. We've had so much snow this year. It's really pretty the first few times but after that it's just crap that causes a mess. LOL
Work is actually going not too bad. My psoriasis seems to still be slowly getting better. I saw the dermotologist last week and he thought it was looking tons better. I'm glad they say that cause I see it every day and it's seeming like to take forever. Both my doctors are watching two new drugs that are supposed to be very much superior to whats on the market now so that sounds promising.
I've kinda closed myself off from really thinking about being with someone right now. Kind of "tried" to block my brain off of it too. But it slips in every once in a while when you see a pic, remember things/people from the past or just let day dreams take over. Valentines day is always kind of hard. I just really tried to stay busy that day. I got my mom some flowers and it's actually my dad's birthday he turned 75. So that made the day go fast. Lots of flowers and things delivered to work.
Wonder what it feels like for someone to tell you they love you and really mean it? I think about that sometimes. And what it would be like for someone to ask or to ask someone else to marry you or make an "official" comitment. Today it seems like people are always looking for the next "best" thing and not work on improving what they have. Just an observation I've noticed. I guess we live in that kind of world now days.
Actually this felt pretty good tonight. I still have several things on my mind but it is time for bed. Haven't been sleeping really great the last week or two. Just real unrestful sleep. Been having strange dreams about work and everyday situations. It's like I'm doing things during my sleep, it's wierd. Someone else at work is having the same thing go on. MOON ALIGNMENT?? You got me it's strange but it keeps me tired a lot. Last night wasn't too bad and hoping for another good one tonight.
Thanks for listening Mr. Diary. LOL Take care and be good.
Hugs,
Boyd
