Awe the fullness of thanksgiving. LOL Yea had a full day of eating here. Actually I didn't do too bad, I kinda watched a few things and just didn't go overboard. All the food was really good. The family had a lot of fun. The new twins were there and they were just so sweet. Had a lot of fun with all the kids. Seemed like everyone had a good time.
The other night on my way home from getting stuff to bring for the thanksgiving dinner at walmart after work. I kind of had a wierd anxiety thing happening. While picking things up at the store I just kind of noticed a few people getting groceries and just looking lonely in general. It was a wierd feeling. I just kind thought are they alone is he alone and looking at some of their groceries it looked that way. I noticed the single person buys. LOL Been doing it for many years.
Well I think that got the brain a rolling so when I got to the car and started on my half hour ride home I really felt wierd. Just thinking about thanksgiving and what I'm thankful for and having friends and family around. I'm pretty damn lucky. You know I have always known I'm pretty lucky. Lately I've been kinda lonely thinking that it would be nice to have someone in my life to share a lot of things with on a more daily thing. So I guess just those feelings kind spured this on. The weird feelings started when I was thinking what would it be like if I didn't have anyone in my life. No family and little friends. It felt horrible and I really kinda freaked.
I guess it was an awakening. Got to look at what you have. Got to see how wonderful it is and take advantage of all of it. Just got to be thankful everyday that you are who you are and what you have. A lot of people don't have anything or anyone.
It really made me think that my brain over the last few years has kind of switched or something. I think of thought too much about having someone special in my life I've forgotten about all the special people I already have in my life. I am truely blessed.
So today at the family's I just had fun, saw everything for what it was and just really enjoyed. I know I'm a pretty positive person most of the time but I guess we all get into a place where that just doesn't work for us or we don't allow it to work for us.
I have actually made a lot of changes over the last 5 years and met some totally amazing people and have made some life long friendships. I've met people that have touched me in ways that I have never been touched before. Get your minds out of the gutter. LOL But honestly in that way too. Hehehehe. But truely touched my heart and made me enjoy life as it should be enjoyes "as ourselves". They've gave me hope for the future and inspiration to be a better person.
Thanks for listening diary, I really appreciate it and am also thankful for you. It's kind of amazing sometimes when you sit down and don't think you have anything to write it kinda just flows. Maybe it's babbling but it sure comes out easy. LOL
Hugs,
B
