Wow 13 days since my last entry. Time flies. Haven't really had much to write about. I do want to first say about my last post. I did get a response back. It was nice. I think we both got our messages through. I'm glad I did that. It did help.
Been a little stressed over a few things work and shit. Got an audit this Thursday and Friday I'm ready to have over. Trying to get some things going to get bills paid off a little faster. I've been working on it for over a year now and just doesn't seem to be going fast enough. I hate having the feeling that I can't do anything in life because of the debt I have. It kind of over powers things for me. But I'm working it trying to get it under control it's debt that's been around for years really, back when I thought I needed things and credit cards were where I went. Also christmas's and things when you say you'll put it on the card and pay later that never got paid later. It's not like a huge thing but enough to keep me worried about keeping my job or a job thats similar in pay, so it does kind of keep a strangle hold on me.
Work is just frustrating. I have major burn out. Tons of work to do. And I work for a company that's looking to cut costs out of everything and get by on the minimum it can. Not that it's not what they should do it just makes it hard on the people that are already doing more than their share and care that things get done right. I've heard rumors of things happening with certain job titles and maybe making regional people. Have actually seen it in one area. Not that I'm worried about loosing my job. I think it would be a push I need to make some changes I want. And hell you can't worry about everything all the damn time.
Lets see what else has been happening. I'm starting to deal with the coming out thing a little bit. I'm going to tell my youngest sister, the one with all the kids and the one I hang with the most. She's a very good friend. We talk a lot. I was so close a few weeks back. It was in the plan. But when it came right down too it and I was at the point of telling her I just couldn't get it to come out of my mouth. I think I almost had a panic attack honestly. I so want to do this. I'll keep working on it.
I met a nice guy from Omaha online this weekend. We had a good talk. I'm not ready for anything serious really. I do feel like putting yourself out there is a good thing though. My coffee guy never has tried to contact me again but hey that the way it goes sometimes. I don't look at it as a bad thing or regret it. He was nice it was fun. I went into gay.com this saturday again and this new guy contacted me and said hello, sounds like a regular nice guy. We'll see where it goes.
W is having a really tough time. My heart goes out to him. I thought he was over the hardest stuff but seems he had another hurdle to cross. I hope he is feeling better. Praying for him.
Well enough for tonight. Thank you for listening. Take care of yourself.
Hugs,
B
