Just wanted to add a quick entry before bed. This week is going by pretty fast. I'm glad I'm ready for the weekend. It's not going bad either actually. The project that's been a pain in the ass is still going strong. My team has the largest cost savings and some really good charters. I'm proud and feel lots better about it now. I'm ready for it to be over but, will probably be going on for a while.
OK I just feel so strange tonight. I feel a little sexually underwhelmed. I need some contact and I need it soon. Is it worth getting on line and finding someone to just do it with??? I know I could, I've been in those rooms with guys that just want to hook up. I always say no or I say something stupid like I'd like to get to know you a little first. Man I'm just so sexually wanting right now. Rosie-Palm'er and her five stepsisters just aren't doing it for me. Or should that be Rusty-Palm'er???? I don't know really either whether I just want to get fucked or have someone just hold me, how sad is that. As I've stated before I'm in a horny as hell mode. Man I could just scream. I'm just really anxious right now. Sorry if this is too much info for ya but it's just how it is and how I feel. How do people just go out and have sex with someone else so nonchalantly. And more importantly why in the fuck can't I. Do I need a shrink or a blowjob???? GRRRRRRRR
Got all my bills paid today. I'm still working on my budget and getting some things paid off while I don't have a vehicle payment right now. It seems to be working but still frustrating. I want to be debt free and if wanted make some changes. I just got to have a little more of that freedom feeling. I could live with less and be more happy.
I've been tanning for my psoriasis. It seems to be helping with the meds. I hope it does it makes me withdraw in so many ways and has most of my life. I think a lot of my romantic life(what little there has been of that in my life) has really kind of stalled because of insecurties of that. With that and my worry-wart attitude I went to food instead. Boy has food been a good friend. But now I'm fat and still alone so maybe not as good a friend as it seemed. I've let myself get to a place it's going to be hard to turn around. I'm trying I really am, it's hard. The mind is a ferocious thing. It can eat you alive. At the moment mine is running a million miles a second. But in some ways I think that is good. I think it could be really good. I think I'm motivated to do the correct things about it right now.
OK I went on for more than I was going to. But I wanted to get this down so I could maybe get to sleep a little quicker tonight. Thanks for listening to me. Take care!!!
Hugs,
SW
~ ~ Cool Quotes ~ ~
One needs something to believe in, something for which one can have whole-hearted enthusiasm. One needs to feel that one's life has meaning, that one is needed in this world.
~ ~ ~ Hannah Senesh
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