OMG I just spent an hour on here doing an entry. I just accidently hit the back button. OMG That's the second time this has happened. GRRRRRRRRRR Man I'm such an idiot sometimes. LOL Oh well such is my life. From now on I'll do it in wordpad and paste it in. I can even spell check doing it that way. Man I had a good flow going with that entry though. I was almost done. OK STOP WHINING YOU BAUL BAG!!!! LOL (hmmm where did I hear that)
OK here we go again. LOL
The last several weeks have been so busy. This time of year always seems to do that to me. I feel like I can't get nothing done and I'm no prepared enough. LOL Wierd.
It's 3� F out. BRRRRR DAMN it was 4� when I left for work this morning supposed to be even colder the next few days. The wind chill is something like -12� tonight. YUCK
Had a rough afetnoon today and a terrrible ride home. Got a little depressed all at once. This time of year does that to me off and on. Nothing too bad if I don't let it eat at me. You know just the lonely blues hit now and again. Don't get me wrong I don't have a lonely life in most cases. I have an awesome family. I guess it just hits me now and then that I really want to find someone to share things with. You know what I mean. Just totally share your life with. Not that I would even be one to be in someones face at all time. I'm one of those that needs a little space from time to time. I guess it's just this time of year brings on those thoughts. But at some point I would really like to find someone I'm cappable of sharing everything with. Totally let go and rely on someone and the can do the same in return. I'm pretty independant but everyone needs someone I don't care what they say. I really think that is what it's all about myself. But who am I. LOL Just my opinion and thought. Not sure why it came on all at once by my drive home was pretty wet. LOL OK enough about that.
Talked to kstyle the other night for a bit. Sounds like life is going good for him right now. Got some things to move on but I know he's going to be fine. A good man with a good head on his shoulders. I just don't want to see him hurt. :-) Saw his diary tonight sounds like he had a great night. He's talking about leaving AWC though, I hate that he is a lot of fun there. But I can understand too. The site for some reason doesn't work for him that great. I think he has a java issue or something. But I guess somethings we just outgrow and move on. It's all good, I'll still get to talk with him.
Got a christmas present from "R" last night when I came home. It was sitting on my front porch. So cool. He's such a thoughtful guy. He gave some great gifts. One of my favorites is he took the pictures I shared with him of my trip to Seattle to see "M" and put them on a calendar. It's so cool it's perfect it'll work great. So professional. I have to admit my cam and me did a good job on some of those shots. He sent me some of his homemade peanut brittle. It's yummy and I'm not sharing. :-P He's a forever friend.
Boomer freaked me out the other night. I was in AWC and he was there. He was down and I didn't catch it. But talked to him for a sec and he left soon after. I know he doesn't want to bug me. He and I are so alike on that. But hope he knows I'm there no matter what. Got to talk with him tonight. Sounded like things were a bit better. He's really got his mind going on this thing of his and is keeping positive. He has to. There's no reason for him to be down on his self. We all fuck up. It's not like he hurt anyone. And the people that can't realize everyone has the possibility to fuck up. Some people just take advantage and like to make themselves look better on others expense. I'm a big believe what comes around goes around and absolutely that what you put out there you will get back. Boomer has an awesome heart and wouldn't hurt a fly. Well maybe a fly but you know. :-P He's already paying for his fuck up other people don't have to penalize him. OH MAN I said penalize. I haven't used that word forever. LOL We had a great talk and got to laugh some. He's such a good guy I just wish he didn't have to go thru all that he has too. But it's only a moment in his life. Can't beat yourself up forever for things that you didn't mean but can't take back.
Got to talk with "M" for a few flashing seconds. He's such a busy guy. I know he's trying to just push thru the holidays and his bday. He's like me they can get a bit depressive. I know deep down he just wants someone to love. Don't we all??? People that say they don't are full of shit. Just playing a game. Not that I'm judging just my opinion. I think that is what life is all about really. I really wish the best for "M" he deserves happiness.
"W" was in the room the other night. Was a bit strange. Not sure what's going on there. Haven't really gotten to chat with him much lately. He popped into the room late I was suprised. He said he's keeping up with me through my diary. Oh no I rant here from time to time. LOL I really hope he is happy though. I think he is trying to make some changes in his life. He loves Christmas but is lonely I know. HUGS "W" I wish you the best. You know I care.
Well enough for tonight. Thanks for listening. I do wish you happiness.
Hugs,
SW
Quote from the past
The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
--- Allan K. Chalmers
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