OK, done with pity party lets move on. Anyone ready???? "me, me, pick me, me, me, please pick me" LOL OK YOU. Not a bad weekend overall. Didnt' do much but get my head together really. Thanksgiving was the turning point. So many friends helped out. So many caring friends, just amaze me how helpfull just a talk, a pm, an email or even just a word can help. I know a lot of it is me but jeez I'm blessed with some great friends. Thanks All.
OK hitting off more on the last entry. I need to get my fat ass busy loosing some weight. I want to be healthy that is the number one reason. Here I go. My goal is to loose at least 65 pounds by my Birthday in May. That's 3lbs a week. Hmmm Hope that's not too agressive I do want to keep it off. I think it is a good goal to set though. That is a lot of lard. OMG Can't believe I let myself get to this point but that's past history. Move on and conquer. RIGHT??? LOL My friend kstyle has been a great example and good inspiration that it can be done. He is looking amazing. I know I will feel much better if I start walking again. I used to all the time but once you get out of the habit it's hard to get back. It's all in the mind. OH SHIT I'M IN TROUBLE if that's where it's at. LOL
Another goal is to plan how to be completely honest with some very important people in my life. I love my friends and family and really want them to know ME. All of me. I want to makes some plans and do some reading. "M" sent me a couple books last year that I want to get read. I know this will be a huge turning point in my life but at 40 I'm ready to really get this out for my own sanity. It eats me up daily and gets worse with every new year. I know most of my family will pretty much understand and be there, just one major worry, my parents, especially my mom. I love them dearly and would never want to hurt them in anyway. We are a proud bunch and I don't want them to feel any less, ya know. I have another thing that is on the very soon horizon. I have a sister that is going to have a baby really soon. The baby is going to have my middle name. I don't want who or what I am to cause this child any greif in the future. This is an issue I may have to work on early. She is due in a few weeks. It's been bothering me for a while. Should I say something to her or not?? Will have to think on this a few more days. I have to decide soon. Talked with "W" a bit on this tonight he was really helpful. I have real issues with making others happy before myself. Have always been like that. Nothing wrong with it just got to work myself in there too occasionally. I do not want to be a "grumpy old gay guy" like "G" says. I really just don't want to be saying this same thing in another year. I get so tired of saying this and not doing nothing about it. I've been so close so many time it's not funny. But a comment drives me back. I know this is only an excuse, but it happens. So moving forward. Going to get my brain around this and get it going.
Next goal. Financial stability. Got some debt I want to get taken care of. I want to not be tied to anything because I have to go from paycheck to paycheck and barely get by. Been working on this for a little bit now. Got some more plans in the works. I think it will turn out OK.
OH man How ambisious tonight. LOL Well got to start somewhere. "R" said he would help me get through the "depressive" season and I would help him. He has actually not too long ago came out of dark place and seems to be doing better. Friends. GOTTA LOVE EM. And I do. Just hope they all know how much they are appreciated.
Oh jeez I've been rambling on. I have so many things in my head right now. At least it is positive things, unlike the past several weeks. Tomorrow will be a new day. Hopefully a brighter day.
OK thanks for listening to me ramble. I promise to be more positive. My so called life is a changing. :-) Please take care and be good to yourself.
Hugs,
SW
Quote from the past
If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right.
--- Henry Ford
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