Strange couple of days. Life is funny, irritating and kinda shitty sometimes. Didn't sleep a whole lot last night. My night ended with talking to my good friend that got the worst news a couple months ago. He was really down and talking about things that were just really, well for lack of a better word SAD. Really sad. It put me into a real wierd mode. Thinking of things that I haven't thought about for a while. Thinking of things I've have. Life is so short. Moves so quickly. Really quick the older you get. Life is a balancing act. Sometimes it's so uneven.
Went to my parents for dinner tonight. They told me that my nephew's wife's sister died the other day. She was 20 years old. She had a gastric bypass a few weeks before. I guess it had something to do with that. Evidently she went out with her dogs for a bit and they found her later just sitting up in the yard, eyes wide open just sitting there dead. Found out my sisters boyfriend. He's 52, I think, he had to have a defibulater put inside on his heart yesterday. He can't drive or lift his arms for 7 months. It'll stay there and shock his heart whenever needed. It shocked him 5 times on the ER room table yesterday after he got it. He said it hurt like hell. Scary.... We at work have CPR/AED training every year with the American Red Cross. The last several years we have had the same guy. He's 48 years old. He was found in his house a few weeks back on a Thursday. The last time he was seen was on Monday. It was the week our temperatures were in the 90's. He didn't use air conditioning. There wasn't enough of the body left to determine what happened. Very sad. No one missed him for 4 days? Yesterday a 20 year old girl and her mom were traveling through the town I work in. I think the paper said they lived in Illinois. The girl was driving and failed to yeild at a stop sign at a highway intersection. Their car was hit on the passenger side by a Semi Tractor Trailer. The mom died instantly. Just think the life that daughter will lead from now on knowing that. One day we are here one day we aren't. Hmmmmmm makes the "balancing" seem a little uhm well wasteful.
My friend with the bad news knows he could have avoided the place he is at. How do you live with that? He thinks about that daily. How he let his mom and dad and family down. He said he was at his dad's birthday recently and it was totally different. His parents were sad knowing time wasn't on their sons side. He knew what was going on. How hard would that be?
I guess we all know we can do better on things. Hell I've loaded my own gun by being Fat and Inactive the last many years. Letting a stressful job get the best of me for many of those years also. A job that I hid at. Thinking putting everything into work would I guess keep me away from being gay and having to deal with that.
Some people have no warning on things that happen to them. Like a cancer or disease that effect them randomly. It just happens to them. One second in time your life has taken a different turn or your life may be taken. Life is so wierd. So fleeting. So frail.
Sorry for such a downer entry. I'm not really depressed or anything. Just a lot of things going on in my head. The juggling act of keeping everyone happy is loosing some of it's balls I think. Has been for the last couple of years.
Some good things going on. My little nephew is talking a lot more. It's so cute. His favorite thing to say right now it "Get Down Momma" and then he shakes his little shoulders and arms??? hehehe is so cute. He's saying his bothers and sisters names and it's pretty close but so funny. He had to get three stiches in his pinky finger because he decided to pull an open green bean can out of the trash. Poor little guy. It's healing well though.
Project Runway started again. YEA. It's funny as hell. Not sure why I like it but it's kinda interesting . Cute little red head on there this year. Hopefully they will keep Santino the devil off of the show. LOL
Next week is the trip to the dells. One of my friends is having to help out with his family and can't make it now. I hate that but understand why. Hopefully his family will be fine soon. I think he needed some time away and I know he would have had fun. But like I told him there is a lot of summer left. I can't wait to go. Sit around with friends and enjoy the weekend.
Next month I will be meeting up with my bud for a weekend. I'm so looking forward to that.
So life moves on Happy, sad, horrible, funny, irritating, awesome, shitty and all. Which direction will life go? The saga continues. hehehehehe
Thanks for listening to me vent. Needed a little bit of that I think. Take care of yourselves and each other.
Hugs,
B
